I have to be really honest in the fact that ever since I graduated from my Master's degree, that not a lot of things have turned out like I had planned. Funny how that always works out. I thought that God and I had talked and had it all figured out... I would graduate... get a fantastic full-time counseling job that would count towards the countless hours I need for my license... stay in Fort Worth... get married and have 2.5 kids with a house and white picket fence... and all would be right in the world. Okay honestly we didn't discuss the marriage and fence, but I was SURE we had discussed the job. Well here I am... 3 months later... and no fantastic counseling job to be found. Oh sure, I apply and am rejected often... don't you fret about that one. Instead, the Lord had an absolutely different plan in mind. He has decided to keep me in that place of not quite where you want to be, but not exactly where you were before either. Fortunately that place for me is getting to spend some pretty fantastic amount of time in a kindergarten classroom. That's right people, I'm a part-time kindergarten teacher. I have gone back to the beginning. Why not start over if you can't continue? It's working for me. I am blessed by eleven kids everyday who probably teach me more than I could ever teach them.
The theme of my life these past three months seems to be getting back to the basics. Not only am I starting over in my 'education' life, but I feel at times like I am having to re-learn biblical principles that I so pridefully thought I already had down. There is nothing like a time of transition to really test your faith and trust in God. This has certainly been a time that I have had to really had faith in God's sovereignty and provision in my life. On days where I can not possibly understand the circumstances that are occurring, I just have to trust in His perfect will for my life and know that He will never leave or forsake me.
Through this time, I have been trying to look at the blessings that God gives me everyday. One of the greatest blessings that I have been able to take a part of is the women's bible study that occurs at my church every Tuesday morning. This is something that I would never be able to participate in if I had a full-time job right now. There were different classes that you could choose from and I instantly knew which one I needed to sign up for... 'Calm My Anxious Heart' by Linda Dillow. I mean HELLO... it's like they knew I was coming! The whole study has been so amazing as we've learned about contentment, trust, and faith in God. Something our wonderful bible study teacher said yesterday that rang so true for me was that 'You can not trust someone that you don't know. Cling to the Father, you are safe. It's going to be hard if you don't know Him very well.' It came at such a significant time for me because not only am I trying to trust so much right now, but also I have been trying to focus on WHO God is... His attributes and character. I want to know my Maker, Father, Lover of my soul. Truly knowing and understanding WHO He is will make the rest that much easier.
Like I said, I just seem to be getting back to the basics.
2 comments:
Oh sister! That IS indeed a good word. You can't trust who you don't know. I'm taking that one to the bank! I love you! I love that we get to ride this journey together. And I love that our plans haven't turned out anything like we expected. There's a reason for that!
Love you to bits.
i love this post! isn't it so weird how we are all in these places that were never part of "our" plan?? SO glad that i have had you during these past few years of utter terror when i moved, married and now possibly going back! don't think that the 250 miles that are going to be put between us means that i don't need you for every decision i make. i love you-thank you for being such an amazing bestie :)
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