Wednesday, April 28, 2010

the awkwardness of silence...

So thanks to my amazing allergies, I now have a sinus infection and laryngitis.  It all started Monday afternoon while I was at work when my voice first started to go out.  Since I was the only teacher that day, one of the kindergarteners asked "Do you think you lost your voice because you were yelling at all of the kindergarteners?" as she smiled.  Of course I had to laugh because I knew that I hadn't been feeling great all weekend thanks to the amazing allergies and because duh... that's just cute.  Thankfully it didn't go all the way out so I could finish the day because let's be honest... me alone with 11 kindergarteners with no voice would not have been the best combination.  It wasn't until I woke up Tuesday morning that I realized I couldn't talk at all.  All I could muster was barely a whisper.  Ever since then, my voice has come back a teensy tinsy bit but the doctor told me to "rest it" so it will come back all the way.  This has led to two days of silence on my part. 

This is what you learn from two days of silence:
  • I don't talk to myself.  I was a whole lot more okay with not having a voice until someone else showed up.  Then it became annoying.  I guess the whole not talking to myself can be a good thing though.
  • You become a great listener.  Granted it's your only option, but you're great at it.  And it works out well because my roommate loves to chat.
  • You automatically can't go anywhere.  It wasn't even because I felt bad either... think about it.  Drive-thru?  Nope.  Coffee with a friend?  Nope.  Even checking out at a store? Maybe, but you look kinda weird when you just smile and nod to the lady.
  • It's incredible how many episodes of Friends you can watch when you have absolutely nothing else to do but lay on the couch and not talk.
  • The phone is impossible.  My sister called and I answered and pretty sure immediately freaked her out.  Thank goodness for text messages (and as much I LOVE texting) it's just not the same when you're bored and let's be honest... want to talk.
  • Watching three really good TV shows with friends seems like it would be easy with no voice... but it isn't.  Never realized how much we all loved to share our opinion about every single outfit the characters wore, every single thing they said, and how much we loved to guess what happened next.  Not fun to just have to sit there and nod my head if I agreed or shook my head and waved my hands if I didn't or even when I tried my hardest to whisper loudly so they could hear something I really felt passionate about.  I'm sure they didn't appreciate always having to pause it so they could hear me when I felt the need to do that.
  • It's really easy to not be apart of a conversation.  When you lose the capability of speech, chances are you just sort of become invisible.  Now to be fair, I quit putting up effort too.  First of all, who's going to say "Now what do you think?" to the person they know can give them no response.  And chances are the person that can't respond quit listening five minutes beforehand.
  • People can sometimes forget I have no speech and think I'm ignoring them.  Good thing I haven't been around very many people.
  • It's also super easy for people to misunderstand me... and sometimes it's just too much effort to correct them.  Especially on the phone.
  • I read that laryngitis "comes on quickly and lasts no more than two weeks."  Great... the good news is that chronic laryngitis (more than 2 weeks) may be because of the way you talk or sing and require speech therapy.  At least I'm not that girl.  And yeah... I've obviously been bored.
  • Apparently doctors offer to write notes for people's jobs to let them know that they're not supposed to talk.  I told them no thanks because I have full confidence in the people that I work with that they'll believe me when I hoarsely tell them the doctor told me to "rest my voice."  It makes me feel oddly sorry for the people that NEED that letter or else their job will make them talk. 
  • And during it all, the biggest thing is that I just plain ol' miss talking and having conversations.  Who knew I liked to talk so much!
So yeah, thanks for listening.  You're the only one that has since Monday.

2 comments:

Lindsee said...

That is so not fun! I'm so sorry. I hope you're feeling better. And that little comment cracked me up! Love you!

Sara said...

glad you are feeling better and have a voice now!! loved all the insight on silence...haha!