Monday, August 30, 2010

a season of surrender...

I have been in school my entire life until this past December so I have always viewed my life as semesters or school years.  Now that I am done with school, it has been really interesting to change that terminology in my life.  What students know as semesters, other people think of seasons.  However, this may not always mean summer, fall, winter, and spring.  Right now I certainly view my life in a season of transition.  I have also felt like I have been in a season that requires a lot of waiting.  This past month in particular, I feel like the Lord has really been working on my heart in a lot of different ways and have finally pinpointed where I am now... and that is surrender.

When reading this morning out of a devotional book, it spoke about having a complete reliance on the Lord and not being constantly worried about every single detail about our lives.  This can be considered the discipline of surrender.  This past month I feel like I have been working through so many things with God and trying to follow His direction in my life for all of them.  So often I feel like I am saying that I believe that God is sovereign and that I know He has control of my life.  But yet, am I really giving Him that control?  Is it really handing Him over control when I am constantly dwelling on the situations that I supposedly trust Him with?  Even though my actions may show that I am trusting and following Him, is my heart aligned with those actions or am I begrudgingly going along with what I feel like I am supposed to?

I want to completely surrender my life over to God... every thought, every action, every word.  I want my trust in God to be completely evident in every detail of my life... instead of my measly attempt of trying to manipulate or control every aspect of my life.  

My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him.  Psalm 62:5   

2 comments:

Jen-Jen said...

i love you! i really needed to read this today, i think that we are always in a constant season of waiting- the subject on which we are waiting for is what always changes in my life. it is so hard to live in full trust because we do want to make the right decisions, not pass up opportunities but the truth is that those opportunities are completely in God's hands so who do we think we are in making fast decisions? Anyway, thanks for the knock in the head this morning! I am always praying for you and love you a ridiculous amount!! I pray that your waiting period will end soon- my favorite song the last few months has been casting crowns "waiting" check it out! miss you!!

Sara said...

beautiful words, friend. love you!!