the divine romance...

Last night as I was reading through Psalm 118, verse 8 resonated with me:

"It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in a man."

Being single at 25, people immediately seem to ask you questions about your status.  If they are genuinely interested in whether I am content in my singleness, my answer is usually it wavers like a rollercoaster.  There never seems to be any kind of explanation for the highs or lows and they both seem to come on pretty quickly.  My current state is a bit of a dip so I would like to preface that there are thoughts in this post that I am NOT proud of.

As I parked my car in the parking lot today and began to walk into work, I noticed someone parked in their vehicle in the parking lot as well.  I immediately thought in my mind if he ever considered setting me up with other guys in his life or if he ever wondered why I was single.  Then I went to the thought that he probably just felt sorry for me.  Or the reality that I wasn't even a thought in his mind.  Finally the Scripture that I studied last night and this morning popped into my mind to comfort me that it did not matter if anyone even wanted to hook me up with someone's brother's uncle's cousin... because taking refuge in the Lord is SO much better.  As I continued walking into the building, I thanked the Lord for his sweet reminder that His love is far greater.

At the end of the day, I packed up all my things and told 2 friends I work with that I was headed out to go to the Phil Wickham Christmas concert that night.  One of the girls began to ask me if I was getting all dressed up and if it was going to be a date thing.  I immediately laughed it off and made a joke that she should know me better than that.  As I was walking to my car, I tried to debate on whether or not I should be flattered that she thought that I was the kind of girl that went on dates all of the time or discouraged that I apparently wasn't that fun of a single girl that she apparently used to be.  As my corrupt mind tortured me again in the ridiculous parking lot, the Lord calmed my heart and and brought that verse to my mind once again.  How silly I felt to have to need another reminder such a short time later, but I am so thankful for God being so gracious with me.  Even through my negative attitude and discontentment right now, He is constantly showering me with His presence and reasons to desire Him rather than a relationship with a guy.  

It seemed perfect that I ended the night at the Phil Wickham concert.  He was a musician that I was introduced to while I was in college at a retreat that was actually named after one of his songs Divine Romance.  It was such a sweet time in my life because it was when I was first getting to know the Lord again and really starting to understand what it meant to have my own real relationship with Him.  This song will always remind me of that time and in a way could be deemed 'our song.'  It only seems fitting to end this post with the lyrics...

The fullness of Your grace is here with me

The richness of Your beauty’s all I see
The brightness of Your glory has arrived
In Your presence God, I’m completely satisfied

For You I sing I dance
Rejoice in this divine romance
Lift my heart and my hands
To show my love, to show my love

A deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from You
Of deep deep love, yeah it’s filling up the room
Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life

In Your presence God I’m completely satisfied       

Lyrics by Phil Wickham 

lazy sundays lead to...

THIS.

reflections...

Since we have just celebrated Thanksgiving, it is of course very common to reflect on what you are most thankful for.  Over this past week, I've really taken the opportunity to think over my life and this past year to count my many blessings. 

Nothing about my life right now meets the world's standards.  I am a 25 year old girl that is single and has a part-time job in ministry surrounded by families.  According to the world, I should either be career-driven or family-driven.  My statistics show I'm neither. 

I've got to say that this has probably been one of the weirdest years of my life.  I've been stretched and changed... hopefully for the better.  I've been forced out of my element and challenged to think outside of the box pertaining my expectations of my life.  I feel like I've come so far in these twelve months, but I know that I have so much further to go.  The Lord certainly has been gracious and merciful to me throughout the entire process... especially through my doubts and questionings.  Following hard after Him this year has been at times just that... hard.  But time after time He would remind me of His amazing love by granting me my own personal moments with Him to let me know that this path is all worth it.         

I still don't know where I'm going.  And honestly I feel like I know less of that than I knew before.  But I think the Lord is breaking me of the world's standards of myself so I can find myself in Him rather than the world.  And honestly, finding myself in God's plan rather than fitting God into my plan has been so much sweeter.


Thank you Lord for your patience with me.  I know that I am selfish in my plans and my flesh is weak, but you are strong and sovereign.  Thank you for loving me and showing me your wisdom and guidance in my life.  I want YOUR name to be written all over my life, Lord. 

counting thru the craziness..

1. My sister came to visit for an entire weekend with the only agenda of hanging out with me.  Victory.  There is no documentation of this in photos.  Fail.

2. Peanut M&M's are like crack to me.  Once I start, I can't stop.  Maybe they're more like Pringles.

3. Thanksgiving is next week.  WHOA.  Wasn't I just laying out at the pool for the summer?  Hello winter white skin.

4. I completed one of the first Tuesday series that I was in charge of without the whole thing being a complete disaster.  Sigh of relief.

5. My mom will always be a fantastic sounding board and give the best advice around.  Hands down.

6. The amount of times and volume that my own and the roomie's alarm clocks go off in the morning probably wakes up the entire apartment complex.  As we peacefully sleep.  Thank you Jesus that our fire alarm hasn't gone off. 

7. I have never ever been oh so excited about decorating my apartment for Christmas.  Get out of here Thanksgiving... I'm ready to go to that Christmas tree farm that I've only ever heard of and put beautiful ornaments on my 2nd ever real Christmas tree.  THRILLED.

8. It confuses me how much I absolutely love Taylor Swift's music, but don't particularly care for her as a person.  Interviews with her make me cringe and I think she tends to be more on the immature side.  But at the end of the day, I love to rock out to every single song on every single one of her CD's... immature lyrics included.  Inner conflict, I tell you.

9. I just began Beth Moore's Believing God with a group of girls.  Never been more excited to meet with a group of girls to talk about Jesus.  I've missed me some good girl time.

10. This is a sad attempt at a blog in order to catch up.  I apologize.

the fog...

Wow... where the heck have I been?  I'll tell yah... walking around in a fog. 

It began when my sweet dentist decided that there was a major need to extract my two left wisdom teeth from my mouth instead of what I went into the office for originally.  Awesome.  I'm pretty easy-going and tend to have this complex where I am very agreeable to doctors.  I consider them all-knowing and don't tend to ask any questions whatsoever.  This complex is so bad that I had to convince the roommate that not even the dentist knew that the wisdom teeth would be pulled out that day before I came in.  (So I've been known to show up to doctors for a procedure that I wasn't super aware of... big deal.)  Obviously this little event cancelled out my weekend plans of a fun trip to Canton.  I was of course bummed but too doped up for the let down to sink in.  Then Saturday night, I began to sneeze and never stopped until some point on Monday.  Enter cold medicine and a really long day on Sunday due to working at a church on Sunday mornings plus our Trunk or Treat for Halloween.  Thankfully I work with an amazing team of girls that forced me to go home for a nap before the actual event started.  It probably had a lot to do with the fact that I looked and acted like a zombie. 

Now that I'm actually coming out of the fog a bit, I feel like I should process the last week of my life here..

1. Having wisdom teeth pulled immediately instills a huge fear in me of dry sockets.  It's looking like I'm in the clear, but it does still haunt me a tad bit.  I accidentally drank through a straw the other day and almost had a stroke when I realized.  I'll be glad when the ten day mark is over. 
2. Apparently I'm more blunt while medicated.  I've been told by three different people to keep the meds going.  I don't know whether I should find this humorous or insulting.
3. A lot of baking occurred on Saturday.  While my roommate and I had both been instructed by different doctors to "take it easy" (the roommate had herself a serious sinus infection)... we decided to 'BOO!' everyone we know.  Haven't heard of this?  Apparently you don't live in my sister's neighborhood because they are the only ones that have.  You leave a fun Halloween treat with a note on someone's door, ring the doorbell, and run away.  Some candy is totally acceptable, but we decided it wasn't acceptable for us.  We pulled out all the stops... Halloween funfetti cupcakes with candy corn pumpkins on top, Halloween funfetti cookies decorated with cute Halloween sayings and jack'o'lantern faces with candy corn, rice krispies with fall m&m's in some and candy corn in others, and brownies.  Ridiculous.  Still have no idea why I got sick...
4. A lot of The Office happened.  So obviously that meant a lot of laughter.
5. I cooked my mom's enchiladas.  HUGE DEAL.  This is one of my all-time favorite meals that my mom has always made that I knew required a LOT of time and prep-work.  Well the roommate decided that we needed to make them because she's had them and loved them (DUH!).  I was intimidated.  I was scared.  I made it happen.  At 25, I feel like an adult thanks to being able ot re-create this meal of my mother's.  

Now that it's officially been 7 days since the wisdom teeth event, I am super looking forward to a weekend that has absolutely nothing on the calendar.  Hmm... saying that makes me wonder if I should have suggested the dentist to wait until this Thursday.  Nah... that would have taken all the fun out of it..  

fried food and a ridiculously tall man...

So if you are from Texas or visiting Texas, something you need to put on your must-do list for next fall is to visit The State Fair of Texas.  It's pretty much the most Texan thing you can do.  My parents failed me in this area and I had never even heard of the state fair until I moved to the metroplex three years ago and went for the very first time.  However, I was obviously new to the fair along with the other rookies with me, so we did not get a full-out fair experience.

What is a full-out State Fair of Texas experience?  Well let me just tell you since I went this past weekend and had one of my own.  It includes...

1. Not only just seeing Big Tex, but taking a picture with him.  For those of you that don't know about Big Tex, he's just about the tallest cowboy you've ever seen in your life... and he's there to greet you at the fair.  Sure he's a bit creepy and his legs get shockingly skinny as they reach his boots, but he's Big Tex and a staple of the state fair.

2. Riding the HUGEST ferris wheel in all the land.  Yes, I used the word HUGEST for a reason.  It is that enormous.  To the point where you feel like you can see your hometown from the top... which is five hours away from Dallas.  Plus, it's always a bonus when the fair decides to shoot off fireworks while you're at the top.


3. Watching the pig races.  Oh yeah.. you definitely read that right.  There is an arena where we all gather together to cheer on the marked pig of our section to run the fastest to an Oreo.  To which lots of cheering ensues.  Don't mind me while I hold pride in the fact that my pig won all of the races.  Boo yah.

4. Someone in your group riding a crazy carnival ride to test their gag reflex.  And of course losing one of their possessions in the process.  Luckily it wasn't an iPhone like another poor soul on the same ride.  Never a good feeling when you see that crashing down to the concrete.  She'll probably never ride FireBall again.

5. And the last but most important thing about the state fair... FRIED FOOD.  And lots of it.  I'm not talking your regular fried food either.  They fry absolutely everything there... including butter.  You can't question their methods, you just have to try them.  Our group's choices?  Fried Snickers, fried caramel apple, fried grilled cheese, fried frito pie, fried margarita, fried corny dog, fried ribs... along with the usual fair treats like cotton candy, funnel cake, hot dogs, Texas burgers, and LOTS of lemonade.  The ridiculous thing is that we probably didn't eat even half of the choices they offer.  (I won't post a picture here, because there are some things that just don't need to be photographed.)

So go ahead and get excited for next year's State Fair of Texas... you only have to wait 346 more days until a fun-filled fair experience.  Yup... it's a big enough deal that they keep a countdown on their website.  Duh it's a BIG deal... it's Texas.

the car is parked...

So obviously the theme of my life this past month is getting in my car and driving south every single weekend.  Well the weekend is upon us and it's the first time in five weeks that I will not be doing that exact thing.  This makes me relieved and excited for many different reasons that I will list out here (mainly because I'm too exhausted to not do a listing post).

1. I had a dream (that I will deem a nightmare) the other night that for some reason that randomly popped up, I had to go to Houston again this weekend.  When it starts to jack with your sleeping, you know it's not good.
2. I'm pretty sure my car would not be able to handle it.  Ever since THE accident, I have driven precious little Solara that was so graciously donated to me from the sister and bro-in-law.  A little history on Solara?  She was my mom's car before she was my sister's (which was back in the high school days)... so needless to say, homechick has been in the family for a while.  She deserves a break.. I'm going to need her to not explode spontaneously from overuse.
3. My laundry.  It's gotten a little out of control to the point that last weekend I actually packed dirty clothes just to do a load of laundry once I reached Houston.  That may be TMI, but just being real with you.  It is time to do some catch-up.
4. I miss what Fort Worth looks like on a Friday and Saturday.  Ok so that's a little dramatic, but there is some fun stuff going on in the metroplex and I need to not miss it.  I like to be hip with the hop and missing out on things bums me out.  Luckily the state fair goes on for an eternity, so that will not be missed as of this Saturday.  Thank you, Big Tex for sticking around for me.
5. My cute polka dot matching bags are kind of on their last leg.  I feel like they're breathing a sigh of relief at the ability to stay up in their cozy little spot at the top of the closet this weekend.  I shall let them rest in hopes they'll come out looking brand-new in time for Thanksgiving.
6. I love my bed.  So if you have ever stayed at my sister's, then you know you are not going without comfort by sleeping in her guest room.  But there's just something about your own bed and your own bathroom and your own everything.  That you just love.
7. Doing absolutely nothing.  Having no plans.  Laying around on my sectional.  Glorious.
8. Gas is not free.  I'm not sure if anyone else realizes this, but when you have to purchase that much gasoline in that short amount of time... the realization certainly sets in on a deeper level.
9. I have done my duty.  Four weekends in a row should prove to anyone that would love to give me an excuse for why they cannot visit me in Fort Worth for one single weekend that an excuse is just that... an excuse.  If I can do it for four weekends, they can do it for one.  So I am challenging all of them.  YOUR TURN.
10. I'm tired of driving.  Especially by myself.  After the second time, it gets pretty boring.

So with all of that said, I am going to enjoy my weekend in FW to the fullest.  Whether that is laying on my sectional to hanging out with friends to living it up at the state fair... as long as it is here, I don't care.

the other five days of the week...

I don't like that my last few posts have just been weekend recaps.  As it may not seem, my life does continue throughout the week.  Hard to believe, right?  Here are a few random things about my week...

• Cake balls done right are just about the most delicious dessert on the planet.  Drops of heaven in your mouth.  Thankfully I have a recipe that makes fantastic cakeballs in my possession due to the most awesome cook from my church.  I obviously don't know who's the most awesome cook at my church, but I just figure she deserves the award because she brought these cakeballs into my life.
• I can be very lame if I am tired.  This just reminds me that I am getting old.  I used to be able to pull an all-nighter and then still have tons of fun all the next day.  Apparently those days are gone.
• Ribs, cheesy mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and homemade ice cream cake is like offering a feast to boys.  If you don't believe that guys receive love through food, just serve them this dinner. 
• The roomie and I have each other's backs.  Whether that means rolling out of bed to deliver potatoes and straws to their place of business or sacrificing their evening to help a sister out with some kids, we're down.  (Don't try to understand it.)
• There are pine cones in a glass bowl, a lit pumpkin spice candle, and harvest M&M's in a pumpkin dish on the coffee table.  There is a pumpkin with gourds next to it on the brick by the fire place.  There is a sign that says 'Autumn' and leaves all along the mantle.  There is a rod-iron pumpkin decoration on the dining room table.  It is officially fall in our apartment.  Thank you, unexpected exchange gift card from Hobby Lobby.
• A good night is being able to grab some yummy take-out and watch my favorite show on tv.  Call me simple, call me shallow... just don't talk while the show is on, please.

Hope you enjoyed the proof that I do go on living between the days of Monday through Friday.  But since it is Friday, I am about to pack up my belongings... and you guessed it, head on down south.  Be back later with the infamous weekend recap.

i'm tired...

For all things insanity, it just so happened that I am traveling down to the Houston area 4 weekends in a row.  Halfway done.  All the driving makes me tired.

The air mattress my sister and I were both sleeping on Friday night decided to do the most awesome thing... deflate in the middle of the night.  If that wasn't bad enough since I may not have completely noticed it in my comatose state, my sister decides that it is necessary to loudly announce that we were now sleeping on the floor.  Thanks for the update, Ash.  Sleeping on a deflated air mattress with someone else makes me tired.

I did a lot of things packed in 2 days... drove to Galveston, hung out with family, went to the movies with the family, checked out Barnes & Noble, headed back north to meet up with my mom at my sister's, went to Fairfield to meet up with other family at a down-home cooking restaurant (that my sister swears we used to eat at all the time to which no one else remembers), go watch my godsister the Rangerette dance at their college football game, and then drive back to Fort Worth.  It may not seem like alot to you, but all of that makes me tired.

When I don't get a chance to set up all of my nursery classrooms during the week, I get to church by 7:30 am to get them all situated before we pray as a team at 8:15.  Waking up at 5:45 am after getting home late from a road trip makes me tired. 

I am currently reading Francine Rivers' new book which is absolutely fantastic.  It's a book that is worthy of the 'not able to put it down' status.  Or the 'it makes me wish I didn't have a job so I could read all day' status.  Staying up late to read makes me tired.

I was summoned to jury duty in downtown Fort Worth at the criminal justice center at 8 am on Monday... with 587 other people.  They were still short jurors even with that ridiculously large amount so we were all automatically picked.  I sat in the most massive room I've ever seen waiting for the jury bailiff to call my name for my court assignment.  Right when she did and I was about to fill out my questionnaire to report back the next day at 9 am, that particular case got cancelled.  Hallelujah.  Waking up at the butt crack of dawn to report to a jury room in the middle of downtown and listen to 588 names being called makes me tired.

We decided to throw our friend a surprise birthday party tonight.  However, communication lines were crossed and that friend apparently already had plans.  This led us to go back and forth on what Plan B should be, which resulted in us to heading to Wal-Mart at 9:30 pm to do something we could have done hours before.  Trips to the store after 9 pm make me tired.

Tuesday morning is Ladies Day Bible Study at our church and I run the childcare for that event.  Which is HUGE.  It makes me anxious in making sure all of the pieces have come together and everything is set before anyone shows up.  Getting to the church in enough time to do this on Tuesday morning makes me tired.

The aforementioned birthday party for friend is tonight at 8:45 pm.  Knowing that I am going to an event that doesn't start until that late already makes me tired.

I think I'll go rest now.

down south is where I stay...

Starting this past weekend, this next month is going to be a whirlwind of traveling.  Mostly down south.  I swear it seems like those people are trying to force me to move back down there just to save on gas.  But I'm holding strong.  This past weekend began all of that craziness and let me just tell you what exactly that weekend looked like...

1. Starbucks stop for the road trip down.  This is a necessity.

2. Lunch with two of my Huntsville girls at my all-time favorite Huntsville deli.  Can we get a HOLLA for Five Loaves Deli?!  Yes, they love Jesus... yes, they have an amazing grilled chicken sandwich... yes, they serve sweet tea... yes, the place is precious.  It was the perfect place to catch up on Hannah and Heather's lives.  Love these girls and it just makes me miss living in the same town as them all the more. 

3. My Nana gave me the newest Francine Rivers book.  Have I told you how amazing my Nana is lately?  Because she's pretty much the best. 

4. Jeans shopping with Jen.  This is my favorite.  With her gone from Fort Worth now, I didn't think this would ever happen again.  But alas, there we both were in the same dressing room avoiding those crazy people that work at the Buckle.  We both walked away with a fantastic pair (pairs for some people) of jeans.  So fun.

5. Tons of shopping with the sissy.  We tend to do this often when we're together.  For the record, this shopping was for other people and food for the shower for those other people.  (Besides the one pair of jeans, of course.)

6. Dinner at Rudy's.  When my sister found out that I'd never eaten there, she almost ran 12 cars off the highway to get me there.  Although they so rudely were out of what I wanted to order, the food I did get to enjoy was absolutely delicious.  So glad that I finally got to try out the place that I hear about all the time.

7. Hanging out with the brother-in-law.  Between viewing all million of their Chicago trip pictures, thinking through his best man's speech, and chatting about his new business.. it's always good times to hang with him.  Love having a brother. 

8. Lunch with one of my high school besties.  I haven't seen her in FOR-EVER so it was so fun to be able to catch up and celebrate this next chapter in her life of welcoming a baby in the world.  So sweet.

9. Decorating and dinner with my sister's crazy friends that are now my friends.  Yup, I take ownership too.  It's always an adventure with those girls and it was fun getting to gear up for Kourt's big day together.  The first season of Glee was invited as well.

10. Baking my arm in the oven.  That's right... I made the brightest move of my life and pretty much laid my arm on one of the oven's racks.  It took Chris to make a noise before I actually made the same noise in realization that my arm should NOT be touching something that hot.  My reward for my brilliance?  TWO second degree burns.  That's the one with the fun bubbling and blistering.  Grossed out?  Yeah, me too.

11. Monkey bread with the girls.  Was it worth the damage to the arm?  I sure as heck hope they think so. 

12. Breakfast with Jen.  Do I absolutely love that she lives a subdivision over from the sissy's house?  Duh.  Am I so super glad that I got to see her twice this past weekend?  Of course.  Do I still hold bitterness towards Spring for taking her away?  YES.

13.  Kourtnie and Sean's shower!  It was the whole reason for the trip and it turned out so super cute.  I absolutely loved the fall themed shower... decked out with more fall decorations than Hobby Lobby, a cowboy boots cake, bales of hay, pumpkins, and tons of delicious food.  Loved it.  Love them.  Love the fall.

14. Clothes swapping with the sissy.  I came home with a romper.  I just like saying that word.  Not really sure how I feel about it or if it will ever make it's public debut.  Right now it's just living in the closet until I can make a final decision.

15. Starbucks stop on the long late drive back.  Duh.

All in all, a pretty fantastically fun weekend.  And now it's Monday.  Which means tomorrow is Tuesday.  Before you know it, I'll be headed back down south again.  Good times.

so blessed...

Yesterday was an incredibly rough day.  My mom sent me an e-mail this morning that not only encouraged me, but challenged me to really stop and looking at the blessings in my life.  As I sat there and did that this morning, I came across a lot of different thoughts of reflection...

• I have people in my life that not only love me, but pray hard for me.
• I have a mother that is my biggest fan and cheerleader.  I know that she will always be there to cry with me and to smile with me.
• Not everyone gets to have their best friend as a roommate.  It's true friendship at it's finest. 
• I get to work in an environment where everyone around me loves the Lord and wants to serve Him the best way they can.  It's an incredible place of support and love.  Let's be honest... it's not everywhere that you leave work upset and return to a desk that has a super sweet card and a cute vase of flowers.
• I am able to have an intimate relationship with the God of the universe.  And rely on His strength and comfort daily.
• I have family that truly knows my heart and would fight to the death for me.
• I have been presented an opportunity to serve families and kids by loving on them and learning more about our Lord together everyday.
• I have a sense of humor and know not to take myself too seriously.
• God is sovereign.  Terrifyingly so, as Matt Chandler put it this past week.  Not an article of dust can move without God being in control.  How amazingly comforting.
• We are not made to be comfortable in this world.  The Bible even says that our souls should be yearning for what is to come.

All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 

Matthew 11:27-29

just call us wacoans...

An organization that will always hold a piece of my heart is Sigma Phi Lambda.  Main reason being that this is where I was pulled into a community of girls that loved God and desired to follow hard after him... right at a time where I needed it most.  I will be forever grateful for the Lord placing Phi Lamb in my life and for all of the girls that loved on me and taught me so much.  I had the honor of serving as an officer for this fantastic organization my senior year of college, along with four other amazing girls.  Our officer core had a bond that year that has outlasted our years at college and stands strong even through the distance.  

(circa 2007)

Three of us live in different towns in the metroplex and one of us lives in Temple.  We decided it was only appropriate to have a long overdue day of fun together.  (If you've done the math already, that means that one of us was not present and of course GREATLY missed.  Love you Hannah!)  We looked at the map and decided that Waco was going to be our location of fun.  And with that, this Saturday because a full-fledged day of us living it up in Waco to see all it has to offer.

When Andrea and Chelsea arrived to my apartment, we all piled in Solara and headed west.  Christine had done her Waco research and found out that Buzzard Billy's was the place to meet for lunch.  Located on a river that shall remain nameless here (because I never took the time to find out the name), Buzzard Billy's was a cajun restaurant that required you to cross the bridge over the swamp to walk in.  Authentic atmosphere... gotta love it.  We all ordered our cajun meals (besides Chelsea of course since her go-to meal is always chicken tenders) and immediately caught up on each other's lives.  And caught Christine up on all chat that occurred in the car ride over... funny how quick little inside jokes can be started in just a one-hour car ride.  We completed our time at Buzzard Billy's with a must-needed picture with the buzzard itself.  Against all wishes of Andrea.

We still had an hour before our movie so we contemplated where in Waco we should tackle next.  Driving through downtown and heading towards Baylor campus, a particular girl got it in her head that we should take random silly senior pictures somewhere.  Between intense searching of visitor parking on campus, major complaints about the heat from the rest of us, and the beginning of an apparent allergic reaction from another of us... this girl got her wish.

After this detour, we headed on to our movie at the Galaxy.  We decided to go see what we thought was a chick flick about a couple being long-distance.  Didn't quite expect the Rated R-ness of it.  Whoops... so much for keeping it classy.  Made it all worth it just to hear Chelsea's ridiculous gasps throughout the entire thing anytime something less than wholesome occurred.  And Justin Long is still adorable in my book.

(They are less than enthused about this picture.  But I don't care.)

We ended our day at the most amazing place in all of Waco.  It is a little bit of paradise that has been planted right next to Baylor campus which can also be known as Common Grounds coffee shop.  To say that I am obsessed with this place is putting it mildly.  It is an absolutely adorable coffee shop that has tons of cute seating inside and cute seating outside in their huge backyard complete with a stage.  The even more fantastic thing about Common Grounds?  Their cowboy coffee.  Pure amazingness.  Best iced coffee I've ever had in my life.  Why is it so amazing, you ask?  This coffee is created with their secret sauce.  As Andrea put it perfectly, it's got to be crack.  Which of course reminded me about why I was so glad that she got to share the Common Grounds experience with me.  She truly understands the addiction.  And luckily everyone else seemed to love the place as much as me.  We even made our way from sitting in the backyard... to enjoying the a/c in one of the rooms... to sitting on the swing on the front porch.  We obviously enjoyed our time there.  And will hopefuly return very soon.

(Look at the pure joy on our faces holding that coffee.  Pure joy.)

(Bands play here.  Cute and fun.  I love it.)

(We much welcomed the air conditioner on the not-so-cool fall day.)

(We not so much welcomed the odd stranger that insisted on sitting and staring... while eating his Taco Bell.)

(I feel the need to explain that she's drinking hot chocolate.. in a sweater.. in 100 degree weather.  She's cool(?) like that.)

(They also have a swing.  It's like they know me there.)

(It maybe could make the move to Waco worthwhile... just maybe.)

(I'm obviously in love.. and a little ridiculous.)

After getting the second cowboy coffee to go (yes it is that good and yes I am that addicted), Christine returned us to Solara and we headed our separate ways.  It was very sad indeed but we will always have Waco.  Oh, and Huntsville.  Whoops.. that cowboy coffee has got me all confused on where my loyalties lie...                   

please meet my allergies...

So if you've known me only a day, you probably are aware that I have allergies.  It is no secret... mainly because they don't allow me to keep it a secret.  They have been a part of my life since I am old enough to remember anything.  They are the reason my eyes are red and I am itching my nose in a weird way to keep from sneezing.  I figured since I've been doing this blog thing for a little while now, it was only right for everyone to get to know me on a little bit different level and be formerly introduced to the life of my allergies.  (If you so choose to skip this post, it will not be held against you.)

Let's begin with the sneezing fits, shall we?  So ever since I was young, I always remember not being able to sneeze just ONCE.  Oh no.  My body seemed to be taken over in these convulsions that last at least ten to possibly fifty sneezes.  You think I'm exaggerating.  Ask anyone I know.  It got to the point where people don't say "God Bless You!" anymore.  They wait for me to pause for a second and ask "Are you done?"  Once I realize that I am and tell them so, then I might get a courteous "Bless you."  I can always tell when I'm hanging out with someone new and a sneezing fit takes over because they bless me on the first sneeze.  Usually if someone else is around, they will be quick to tell them it's not worth it.  Ahh, the love.  I do have to admit that I have a fear that comes along with these sneezing fits.  I'm convinced that a possible way I may die is one of these sneezing fits will get so out of control while I'm driving that I will wreck and die.  I know that's morbid, but I'm just being real with you.  A true sneezing fact is that your eyes are shut.  You do the math... fifty sneezes plus my eyes being shut equals a possible disaster (and the way I die).  Just saying.

So what am I allergic to, you ask?  Life.  Ok but seriously although it may feel like that at times, I have been able to narrow it down just a tad.  (And this is my own research... not one of a professional expert.)  When I was younger, I do believe it was either me or my wise mother that figured out I was allergic to dust and fresh-cut grass.  Awesome.  I can't go inside or outside.  However, my favorite chore was dusting.  Hmm.. maybe that's how we figured it out.  But no worries... I took it upon myself to completely avoid cutting grass at all costs.  I'm obviously just thinking of my allergies.  When I got a little older and moved to college, I would come home and visit and sneeze NON-STOP.  Especially when those furry little animals also known as our pet cats would come up and love on me.  Interesting.  Apparently living in clean air for the first time in my life made me aware that I was now allergic to cats.  So my sophomore year of college, I got a dog.  Life was great until I moved to Fort Worth three years later and Jazzie moved in with her grandma.  (Yes, we are those people that refer to my mother as my dog's grandma.  Don't judge us.)  Now when I go back down to visit, I sneeze.  Oh, the pattern.  Clean air makes me allergic to dogs now.  Great.  Needless to say, Jazzie still lives with her grandma.

*Side note... I'm also allergic to sulfa drugs if anyone ever has to take me to the hospital while I'm unconscious.  Just didn't want to lead you astray with my statement of allergies.

Have I ever taken medical action when it comes to my allergies?  Yes and no.  I do take prescription medication everyday for them.  Thank you, Allegra-D.  This all began when my doctor wrote me a prescription before leaving for college along with a note that stated I could not live in a dorm because of my allergies.  (Was there an ulterior motive for doing this so I could live in an off-campus apartment with my sister?  Perhaps, but that's a whole other post.)  I've never actually been to an allergist though.  But I HAVE been to an Ear Nose Throat Specialist who told me that my sinuses are AWFUL.  Um, duh.  He listed at least five things that were going on with my nose/sinus cavity region that I will not go into the details here to save you the gross-out.  So he immediately strongly recommended the sinus surgery that is apparently amazing and will change my life forever (which could also be known as the grossest surgery ever).  So I did it.  I looked forward to being able to breathe through my nose for the first time in my life and not sneeze a million times a day.  Did it change my life forever?  No.  I knew it wasn't good when I went back for my post-op check-up and Dr. ENT said "Wow, you should be feeling and looking a lot better than this.  You poor thing."  (I would like to state that he was looking up my nose at that point rather than my outfit.)  And then he said, "I think you might have some severe allergies as well as severe sinus issues.  You might want to look into an allergist."  Um, thanks.  I could have told myself that for a whole lot less amount of money.  So I am now educated about the differences in sinuses and allergies all thanks to paying Dr. ENT lots of money.  And I still sneeze a lot.  It's best if we just move on now.

How do you handle the allergies?  With grace and style, of course.  Actually not at all.  My allergies bring out the tackiness in me that just wants the itchiness to go away.  I used to try to avoid sneezing at all costs.  I just knew the craziness and embarrassment that was about to ensue... so if I was in public, I would try to prevent it from occurring.  This resulted in me rubbing my nose in such a way that could potentially mimic a cocaine addict.  Did that stop me from doing that?  No way.  But it did stop the fit from coming.  Success.  Another fun thing that comes along with awful allergies is redness and itchiness of the eyes.  If it gets to where it is so itchy and unbearable to the point where I am gnawing/rubbing at it with my hands, I warm up a washcloth and put it on my eyes.  Sweet relief.  Who cares if I look strange?  The people that judge me don't understand.  So if this occurs in the middle of the night, chances are the eyes are going to look a little crazy in the morning.  It got to the point where before I put my contacts in, I put redness relief eye drops in.  Everyday.  Hey, if they weren't red at that moment, just consider it prevention.

So there is a little background information on a huge part of my life... my allergies.  Just think of it as being educated about the lives of people that are stricken with severe allergies.  If you're not one of us, maybe it will help you understand us.  And to not judge us.  Especially if our eyes and nose are both red and we look like we haven't slept in days.  Just let us be.  We're in enough pain without your ignorant comments.

growing up (& old) too fast...

So I'm twenty-five.  I should be embracing my "adult-ness."  It doesn't mean that it can't surprise me or dissapoint me when I realize I'm doing things that I didn't use to.

Here are a few things that I've done lately that show I've grown up...

• When it starts to get about 9:00 or 9:30 pm, I start winding down and getting ready for bed.  That's usually time for me to leave the living room if I'm still in there and head to the bedroom.  This still includes the whole getting ready for bed routine and also usually still reading once I get in my bed... but 9:00... really???  The roomie and I actually turned off a tv show the other around 9:15 because we realized the time and headed out of the living room.  Who have we become?
• I make my coffee before I go to bed as apart of my "routine."  That's right... I get it all prepared so in the morning in my sleep stupor, I can just click ON.  This is really just helping me out because I am so far from being a morning person.  But I remember doing this for my mom when I was a kid.  Obviously very adult then.
• The other night I woke up to a text message from a friend that is still in college at 12:30 am.  On a week night.  So I obviously didn't get it until 7 am.  And I actually had the immediate thought... "Wow, that is way late... oh, the college days."  What???  I'm pretty sure at this time last year I was staying up WAY later than that.  Granted, I was in grad school but that meant that I was still getting up to be at class at 8 or 9 am.  I've obviously changed. 

So these are a few things that have occurred in my life lately that have shocked me... and actually made me a little disappointed in myself.  I guess it's time to embrace growing up and that these things are okay to happen... but it just makes you feel a little lame, ya know? 

here's to a double weekend of no labor...

Happy Labor Day weekend everyone!  Isn't it so fantastic to have Monday off?  For some reason, everyone I've talked to does not have any over-the-top Labor Day plans but just plans on chilling out and relaxing on the Monday that we're all released from labor (well the lucky ones anyway).  Is it because we're all so over the heat and don't really feel like throwing a barbeque when this heat is still killing us?  Sitting inside in the air conditioning and watching a movie while waiting for fall weather sounds glorious right about now.

This weekend is like a double weekend for me.  Since I work on staff at a church, my Sundays are not my own.  Although I may traipse out of town, I will quickly head back at some point on Saturday (usually late) to be at church bright and early on Sunday morning.  Luckily I don't work on Fridays and am able to have a weekend that looks a little different to most.  So this weekend I did just that... headed out of town on Thursday to my hometown of LaMarque (near Galveston) and came back on Saturday afternoon.  But I get double the fun since I am able to continue my weekend in Fort Worth until Monday... an extra little bonus weekend!  (I consider them separate weekends since there is a bit of labor in between.. it makes it more fun that way.) 

Here are some of my favorite highlights of the first half of my double Labor Day weekend down south: 

1. I got to have lunch with my Nana at Casa Ole on Thursday.  This is no random event.  We used to do this every Wednesday or Thursday when I was in college (depending on my class schedule that semester).  She let me "work" for her and I would bust out of class and head straight to Conroe so we could eat at our favorite place together.  Now our lunches are few and far between, but they still bring much joy to my heart.  My Nana is one of my favorite people in the world who everytime I see speaks much wisdom and brings much laughter (and style) to the table.  I sure do miss her.

2. I made coffee time with the Grandad.  Talk about bringing joy to my heart.  This time around he even explained about where coffee time came from and how he thinks that it started with his grandparents.  Love it.  Love him.

3. My mom and I ate one of our favorite dinners together and stayed up late talking.  I am very blessed to have a mom that I share such a special bond with and we just understand each other.  Always know it's going to be good when we are allowed some good quality time together.

4. I was able to see a lot of people from my youth group growing up.  We always had such a tight-knit group with one of the most fantastic youth ministers to date.  And trust me, I've met a lot of youth ministers when I entered seminary.  Even though it was a very sad reason that we were all reunited, it was certainly a reminder of how much each one of those people meant to me growing up and being apart of who I am today.  Definitely am ALL about a real reunion.

(To understand our youth group a little more, please watch this video.  I promise you, it will not be a wasted few minutes.  And my 14 year old self does indeed have a cameo if you can find me.)

5. I had meals at two of my all-time favorite mexican restaurants growing up... Taqueria and Gringo's.  Both different and both amazing in their own ways.  Gringo's was even my very first job.  Yup, I was a hostess for a whopping 2 months of my life.  And never again.  Rolling silverware in a restaurant kitchen to wee hours in the morning is apparently not my thing.  Who would have known?  But I do love their green sauce.

6. I went shopping with my mom and sister.  AMEN.

7. My crazy cousin and his family showed up and we had a sleepover.  Although they only live about 25 minutes away from me in the metroplex, our schedules are both busy and life gets in the way.  I love those three kids with all my heart though (and Phil and Shalee too of course).  Spoons is apparently our love language.  It helps that I am the undefeated champion always.

8. I was able to have lunch on Saturday with two of my college best friends, Lindsee and Jen.  Words cannot even describe how much I love those girls and getting to spend time with them, especially since it does not happen even remotely close to how much I wish it did.  Ellen's Cafe in Old Town Spring did not know what to do with the three of us apparently which of course made our lunch all the more entertaining.  What else can you do but die laughing when the old ladies next to you insist on either yelling at you or practically joining your table and of course when everyone is constantly staring?  Gotta love how it's never dull when we all get together.

That is my highlight reel thus far.  And it's pretty fantastic that I still have one more night of weekend and my day of no labor.  Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend as well!      

 

why hello there september...

It is now September 1st.  I can NOT believe it... where did the year go??  Well I have always been an avid lover of summer since it has so many of my favorite things all wrapped up in one.  There's my summer birthday, no school (which was very important since I've been a student until now), vacations, lots and lots of pool time, and all kind of fun summer events that don't usually occur during the regular year.  It's usually a bit of a sadness when it is over.  However, I've realized lately that the role of August is to come in and BLAST the heat to a ridiculous temperature to the point where I am WELCOMING the season of fall with open arms.  So although I'll miss you summer, I will not miss this August heat that I am telling myself will dissappear now that September is here.  And since my excitement for fall is slowly taking over, I am remembering all of the reasons I love this time of year and thought I would share here...

1. Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbucks.  Are you even remotely shocked that the first thing I would list is related to coffee in some way?  Although I do not get the pumpkin spice latte absolutely every single time that that I go to Starbucks while it is available, I do love to treat myself to one on a fantastic fall day.

2. Trunk or Treat.  This is the fall carnival that happens on or around Halloween at my church.  Ever since I've started at McKinney, it has always been one of my favorite events to help put together and enjoy while it is going on.  There is nothing more precious than seeing the entire church family coming together to spend time and have fun and see the adorable kid costumes.

3. Fall clothes.  Call me vain, but I do love some fall clothes.  It's the time to be able to break out the cute sweaters, light jackets, and scarves.  It's the introduction of long sleeves back into the wardrobe.  It's always fun to be able to start wearing clothes that have been sitting on the rack sadly for the past few months.  

4. Sitting outside at a restaurant/coffee shop/my own balcony.  There's a point that occurs in the summer that this just does not seem like a good idea anymore without subjecting yourself to possibly being covered by sweat by the end of whatever you're doing.  Love being able to return to that without the fear of sweat.

5. The return of the good TV shows.  After a tv show hiatus, I am always more than excited to see my faves return after the summer.  Come on Glee, Modern Family, One Tree Hill, The Office and Grey's... I'm ready for yah.

6. Fall decorations.  It's just fun to see the fall/harvest decorations that can now be put up.  Got way into it last year with pumpkins... all to see them destroyed by our boy neighbors.  Although I miss them, it will be good to be able to decorate freely this year without threat of destruction.  And I still dream of one day of actually going to a pumpkin patch.

Those are enough things for right now that I can look forward to as the days go by and the fall becomes officially here... What are some of your fall faves?   

a season of surrender...

I have been in school my entire life until this past December so I have always viewed my life as semesters or school years.  Now that I am done with school, it has been really interesting to change that terminology in my life.  What students know as semesters, other people think of seasons.  However, this may not always mean summer, fall, winter, and spring.  Right now I certainly view my life in a season of transition.  I have also felt like I have been in a season that requires a lot of waiting.  This past month in particular, I feel like the Lord has really been working on my heart in a lot of different ways and have finally pinpointed where I am now... and that is surrender.

When reading this morning out of a devotional book, it spoke about having a complete reliance on the Lord and not being constantly worried about every single detail about our lives.  This can be considered the discipline of surrender.  This past month I feel like I have been working through so many things with God and trying to follow His direction in my life for all of them.  So often I feel like I am saying that I believe that God is sovereign and that I know He has control of my life.  But yet, am I really giving Him that control?  Is it really handing Him over control when I am constantly dwelling on the situations that I supposedly trust Him with?  Even though my actions may show that I am trusting and following Him, is my heart aligned with those actions or am I begrudgingly going along with what I feel like I am supposed to?

I want to completely surrender my life over to God... every thought, every action, every word.  I want my trust in God to be completely evident in every detail of my life... instead of my measly attempt of trying to manipulate or control every aspect of my life.  

My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him.  Psalm 62:5   

it's my fort worthaversary...

Three years ago, I packed up all of my belongings in a ridiculously large U-Haul and headed north on the highway to Fort Worth.  This decision was not easy.  At the time, I so would have preferred to stay in my college bubble of friends and never leave Hunstville... or at least stay near it.  But I knew after lots of prayer that this is where the Lord wanted to lead me... and I certainly wanted to follow.  My plan was to live in Fort Worth for my years in grad school and then immediately move back south to Houston....
And three years later, here I am.  Grad school has been done for eight months and I have no plan to move anywhere anytime soon.  And I absolutely love it.  So with that said, it is my Fort Worthaversary... and yes, I definitely did just make up a word to celebrate my 3 year anniversary of living in Ft. Worth.  It seemed only fitting to commemorate this huge moment with a post dedicated to the love I have for this town.

Thinking back over these past 3 years, I thought the best way to present all that I want to say is listing out all of the fantastic things (as quick as possible) that these years have consisted of... all playing their parts in making this time super fun and memorable in their own ways.  Or else we may be here for days if I went into detail about each little thing.  And nobody wants that.  So here we go (and I'm going to try to stay in order as much as my memory allows)....

Brand new one-bedroom apartment with cute vaulted ceilings.  New, super fun, fantastic single girl friends.  The introduction of fantastic in my vocab thanks to a new friend.  The Texas State Fair.  Boyz II Men concert.  Two-stepping.  Downtown Dallas during UT-OU game.  Crazy amounts of school work.  Trail Lake Starbucks.  Ridiculous nicknames for absolutely everyone at our school.  This Thing.  Basically all of us living at Jess' apartment.  Family dinners.  Shoot em up movies.  Carpooling to the Village.  Quitting the crazy nanny job.  Karaoke at Sbux.  Salsa dancing.  Meet Me Under the Mistletoe Christmas party.  Carroll Park.  All-nighters.  Very first snow day in FW.  Valentine's Day at Rio Mambo.  Rock Band.  Basically living at Katie and Jac's apt.  Taquitos in the middle of the night.  Spring Break by introducing the South Carolinian to Houston.  Being the closest people at Fergie's concert.  Curtis' birthday punch.  Six Flags with the long-time bestie.  Hell Presentation with the girls.  Summer Fun Day Mondays.  McKinney church.  The Angelika with crazy independent movies.  JD's Chippery cookies.  More new friends.  Moving to Carroll Park with Jen.  Cramped tiny closets full of clothes.  Rangers games.  Being allowed to actually counsel real people.  Austin road trip for John Piper.  Best concert of my life with New Kids on the Block and my sissy.  Lots of proposals and engaged friends.  Curtis' famous barbeques.  Texas Stampede rodeo in Dallas.  Getting kicked out of TCU library.  Baseball girl team for Halloween.  Wedding galore.  Katie and Jessica moved in.  Shouting through the walls.  Mama Raven.  PT Cruiser rental.  Hockey games.  Weekend in Boerne.  Phil Wickham amazingness.  Daffodil gardens.  The boys asking me if I knew I was in an accident.  Amazing friends that nursed me back to health.  The coveted Cobalt.  Finally pictures at the Water Gardens while freezing.  Blindfolded Curtis busting it.  Resurrection Barbeque.  Easter weekend at the Stockyards.  Slide-a-palooza.  Phil Wickham in Ft Worth.  Sissy's wedding.  The swing.  The competition for the swing.  Pure Bliss obsession.  More wedding galore.  Random one-day river trip.  Katie's karaoke machine.  JoBros concert.  Back-to-school karaoke party.  The fantastic four.  Free Cowboys games.  Halloween in a corn maze.  Girls weekend at the Gaylord.  My Cross-Cultural group project.  Our perfect real Christmas tree.  GRADUATION.  Our grad party with Curtis' amazing cake.  Graduation celebration cruise.  Chopping all the hair off.  Moving to our new grown-up apartment.  Craigslist craziness.  Nick Jonas at the House of Blues.  Sunday lunches at Red Hot and Blue.  Being a kindergarten teacher.  People being forever late to the house-warming party.  Sitting Diamond Club at the Astros game.  Monday TV night with the girls.  The time warp at the Magic Time Machine.  Lots of snow.  The night of the Ginger Man.  Jen's 80's birthday weekend.  Esparza's with the girls.  Sushi and Wicked.  Our 25th Birthday River Trip Extravaganza.  The block luau party.  Rainy Kaboom Town with picnic in the parking lot.  Pool time with the floats.  New job and my own cubicle.  Fireworks at the Gaylord.  Housesitting mania.  Fort Worthaversary celebration at the rooftop of the Reata. 

WHOA!  I absolutely love Fort Worth and these past three years of my life.  And even though I probably missed mentioning some other fabulous things, but that just goes to show how much FUN has happened here. 

Here's to the continued awesomeness in the next year....